A Blizzard in my Heart
by Blood Ice Dragon Slayer
Summary: Grey is faced with returning depression. Something from his last mission triggered his sadness. Will he push himself over the edge or will Natsu, his childhood friend and crush, help hold him and comfort him? Warnings: Self-harm and depression. Smut later.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I don't own Faiytail.**

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(Grey's POV)

I sat, alone, in my house. Curled up against the cold corner, wearing nothing but my normal pants and jewelry. I didn't have the motivation to change since I got back from my last mission. I was extremely tired after all.

But what was this feeling that's been growing inside of me? I haven't left the house if six days, nor seen my friends. I've shower twice and eaten only a few times. I mostly sat in my chair in he corner and cried. I cried about nothing, about Fairy Tail, about everything that's happened.

I was glad nobody came looking for me, if they did, what excuse would I use then? That I had things to do? That I was busy reading? That I was training again?

Soon the time would come when somebody realized what was going on.

But when would that be? Erza and Lucy left on another mission yesterday, Natsu probably doesn't care. And Master is too busy to do anything. I was alone. Truly alone.

Taking a deep breathe I get up and slump over to the bathroom, stripping off the fifthly clothes that I wore and stepped into the bath tub. The water poured quickly and was freezing cold at first, but I got use to it.

I thought of the last mission, where I almost got killed and how nobody noticed. What would happen if I had died back there? Would anyone notice?

'_No... They wouldn't._' I thought, staring at my body. It was thin, almost too thin, you could begin to see each rib and both my hip bones stuck out. Every time I ate, I just threw it back up anyway, so what's the point?

I put my hands together and created a knife, made from a thin sheet of ice. You could see clear through as if it were glass. I held it against my wrist, against the very old scars and slid it slowly across.

I winced as a tin line of blood flowed down my arm. Would anyone notice them? They hadn't in the past, so why would they now. I repeated the same motion.

Once. Twice. Until there were 8 long cuts across the veins of my left wrist. I turned off the shower and noticed the silent tears that were concealed by the water.

The blade shattered and melted. I broke open an old habit. One that I haven't done since I was with Ul.

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(Natsu's POV)

I hadn't seen the stupid Popsicle in a quite a while. Master said that he was on a month-long mission but then went straight home. To be honest, I was worried. He never stayed away from the guild for too long.

"Oui! Mira! Have you seen Grey at the market?" I yelled, setting the tea cup on the bar. She turned around, her dress fluttering as she did.

She thought for a minute before responding, "No... He's usually out shopping but I didn't see him today. Sorry, Natsu, you could always go check on him?"

I sighed. Yeah, I would, but I don't know where he lives. I never asked. I knew he had a small apartment, but that was it.

"I'll go do that, can you gimme an address or something?" She scribbled a few numbers and letters on a napkin and handed it to me.

"Tell him I said 'hi'." She said, smiling. I nodded and jumped off the stool, running out the guild doors and down the streets. Grey's house wasn't 6 blocks from Lucy's place, so I knew exactly how to get there.

'_I wonder if he's alright._' I thought, sprinting across roof tops.

Twenty minutes later, I stood on his door mat. It had started to rain, leaving me stranded where I stood.

"Grey! Hey, Snowflake! Open up!" I yelled, banging loudly on the door. When he didn't answer, I turned the knob. '_That's weird... It's unlocked._'

Sitting quietly on one of his sofas, I took a look around. He had a medium sized kitchen, next to the slightly small living room, his walls were blue and the sofas were a warm velvet.

On the other side were three doors. One was probably a bathroom, the other probably a bathroom. The third was, what?

I stood up and strode over to the door. Locked.

"Figures." I whispered, returning to the sofa. The noise of the shower suddenly stopped and a very wet, half dressed mess slithered out.

His face was pale and his pants wrinkled. Everything about him seemed so... Dead. I didn't say anything as I watched him walk over to the kitchen. Opening a cupboard and pulling out a first aid kit. While leaning out against the counter, he pulled out a pair of tweezers, holding it to his... Wrist!?

"Grey!? What did you do!?" I yelled, rushing over to him, startling him so badly that he fell over and landed on his ass in the middle of the kitchen.

He winced in pain, staring up at me, guilt and regret shone in his eyes.

"Let me see it." I asked very gently, calming down and squatting next to him. He hesitantly held out his wrist and let me hold it. I counted them. Eight little cuts. Deep, but not very big. I reached down and grabbed the tweazers that he held earlier. "This is why you shouldn't have used glass, bits get stuck in the wound and it takes forever to heal."

"I didn't use glass." He mumbled, just enough for me not to hear. I started picking out the bits.

"If not glass, then what?" I asked.

He pulled his wrist away violently. "Why do you suddenly care so much about me?" He snapped.

I was honestly hurt by his words. Did he really think I didn't care about him? "I haven't seen you in almost two months. Besides, you're my team mate, I want to make sure you're alright." I told him honestly.

His hair fell across his eyes, leaving drops of water everywhere.

"Now, let me help you take care of that scratch." I told him, he glared at me but gave me his wrist anyway.

We sat there, in his kitchen, for who knows how long, while I picked out the shards of something and bandaged up the damaged skin.

"There!" I stood up and turned to leave, knowing that he only had a few scratched and bruises, I could go tell Mira that he was alright. "I'll see you later, snowflake!"

"N-Natsu! I... Thank you." He said, blushing slightly.

"No problem, hun!" I yelled back, walking out the front door.

I almost didn't catch what he said next, and it broke my heart to pieces to hear him say that, "I meant 'Thank you for noticing me.'"

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**(To Be Continued)**


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I do not own Fairytail.

So for the past week, I could not find any emails from fanfiction and it made me think that nobody liked it. But then I found them and I want to thank you all for your reviews! I do apologize if this chapter is not grammatically correct, since I am ill as fuck. Enjoy!

(Gray's POV)

After Natsu left, I was alone. Again. But did he really not realize what I did to myself? Doe she-not know anything about self-harm? What was I going to do if he couldn't see that.

I stood up from my position on the couch and opened the fridge. As my stomach growled, I suddenly felt like I couldn't eat anything. Setting with a glass of ice-cold water and a very small bowl of ice cream, I plopped on the couch.

The loneliness was normal to me so I smiled as I ate the creamy goodness. I noticed the careful wrapped wrist of mine and it hit me.

I dropped the bowl, watching it shatter on the ground; Natsu actually cares about me. Right? Isn't that what people do when they truly care about someone? He talked gently and bandaged me up. On missions he never did anything like that.

"Natsu…" I found myself whispering.

'I should go find him.' I thought but then stared down at my dirty clothes. I jumped up and ran out of the room to my dresser, pulling out a clean, neatly folded pair of black jeans and a short sleeve shirt.

Sprinting out the front down, I made sure it was locked before jumping off the balcony of the apartment complex.

"Oh good. I thought you'd never come out." A voice from behind me stated in a very joyful tone. I spun around, seeing Natsu hanging off the roof with one hand. His arm toned sharply and a smooth caramel. His pink hair slightly shaking in the light breeze.

He dropped down beside me. "Gray, are you sure you're okay?"

'No.' I thought, finding myself saying the same thing. "No… I'm not." The pinkette frown and started walking closer. I expected him to punch me and tell me to man-up and stop being a weakly. Like he does all the time at the guild.

But he didn't. He stopped just inches away from me and raised his arms. I shut my eyes and winced. But the impact never came, instead he just hugged me. It was tight and warm. Very, very warm.

"I might not understand, but I'm not about to let you always be sad." He whispered in my ear. We were about the same height so my head rested perfectly on his shoulder. "I'm here for you, Gray."

I didn't know what to do, my eyes began to fill with more tears and I hesitantly put my hands around his waist.

"Thank you." I said, not wanting to sound ungrateful. What do you say to someone about this type of thing?

He pulled away and we started walking through Magnolia. We were quiet for a while until we approached the guild. I froze where I stood. They didn't know. About anything. What if they saw my wrist? Mire knows about my past, she'll probably be the one to try and cheer me up.

"Gray?" Natsu spoke. "Can I ask you something before we go inside?"

"Yeah… Sure." I agreed.

"How did you get the scratches? I was thinking about it and I couldn't think of the answer."

Again, I froze. He really didn't know.

"I… Um… It… It was the cat next door. I had to help this old lady get her cat back inside." I lied, but Natsu looked like bought it.

He nodded and we walked in. Everyone stopped what they were doing and were staring at us. Then all of a sudden everyone began cheering and yelling my name. I could feel ny heart racing and they got closer and closer.

Throwing my hands together I summoned an Ice wall. But not around them, it was around me, to kept them away.

"Hey! Guys! Calm down!" Natsu yelled at them, suddenly everything got quiet, and the ice began to melt into the air. Mira and Natsu were the only ones on the other side. Everyone else went back to what they were doing.

"Gray-san? Are you okay?" Mira asked quietly. Her voice was very gentle.

I mentally yelled at everyone to leave me alone, I wasn't really to be around so many people.

"Y-Yeah…" I told her, knowing full-well that she knew I was bullshitting her. I didn't really want anyone but Natsu to know what was wrong.

I followed Natsu around until we got to our table, sitting quietly with my head down. Mira brought us drinks. Mine was ice-cold and his was warm. I could only stare at it.

Natsu was chatting away with her, talking about his last mission where he fought an entire town of thieves. I listened carefully, not looking up once. I kept thinking about earlier.

The one person that I absolutely hated had gotten me to leave my apartment and begin to feel loved. Wait… Did I love Natsu?

A gasp escaped my mouth, drawing the attention to my smaller, weaker frame.

"Gray?" Mira asked. I kept looking down. Thinking of some sort of lie, when I couldn't come up with one, Natsu put his hand on my back. "Here. Drink this." He pushed his untouched drink in front of me, steam still pouring off of it.

"Please drink it."

I wrapped my hands around the cup. It felt good. To be warm. "Bringing the cup to my lips I tasted just a small bit. It was black tea. A little milk and sugar in it too.

"Mmm…" I heard myself say, taking a longer bigger sip. "It's really good." I kept drinking it until there was nothing left.

They continued talking for hours upon hours. I felt tired, maybe sleepy? A thing I hadn't felt for a while.

"I think I'm gunna go home." I slurred. Standing up and heading for the door.

"Gray! Wait!" He called after me, grabbed the injured wrist. I winced as I instinctively pulled away. "Let me walk you home."

At first, I wanted to tell him no, but his eyes were gentle and soft, his skin flawless and when I told him 'yes', he smiled, showing off his small fangs.

Walking home was quiet, it was relaxing, nice. Something that I didn't want to ever to stop.

About an hour later, we got to the balcony. Where the day started. Natsu stopped after I unlocked the door and half stepped inside. "Would you like to come in?"

He declined, but instead, hugged me again. "Tomorrow morning, Lucy and Erza come back. And tomorrow evening, we four are being sent out on another mission. Will you be able to come?"

I had only just gotten out of my apartment. I didn't want to say no and hide alone for another few weeks. "Sure…" I said, unsure if I was able to.

He pulled away just a little and smiled again. I went to turn away but he held me still. Turning my head, his lips connected very lightly with mine. Natsu kissed me very softly.

Natsu. Kissed me.

I kissed back, making his skin get hotter. His lips were warm, of course, but they were so soft. Like silk. He pulled away and hugged me once more before jumping onto the balcony.

"I'll see you tomorrow, snowflake." Then he jumped down.

I went inside and crawled into bed, now I had something to look forward to. I fell asleep soundly that night. And had not a single nightmare.

(To Be Continued)


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

**(Natsu****'s POV)**

I awoke to the sound of screaming, causing me to fall off the cozy bed and on my feet. Taking up a fighting position.

"The hell was that?" I whispered, sprinting out the front door and glancing at the landscape. Two ladies, one blonde and one red-head.

"Natsu!" Lucy jumped into my arms, kissing my cheek. I didn't blush, unlike I always did with Gray. I shrugged her off and looked questioningly at Erza.

She smiled and summoned a camera, of which the first picture was of me kissing Gray.

"You guys got back last night!?" I yelled at the two. They jumped back, recognizing the anger in my eyes. They were right to be scared, I was pissed.

I brought out fire in my hands and charged them. "IF YOU TELL ANYONE, I'LL CUT YOU BOTH!"

I chased them back to town, stopping when we reached the guild. Gray stood on the steps, where his coat and bag.

He was speaking with the Master, they were whispering between each other, so that nobody could hear. Not even me and my amazing hearing.

Master nodded and he went inside. Gray sat on the steps until he saw Lucy and Erza approaching him.

I waited, and when I watched him start rubbing his wrist uncomfortably I made my move.

"Hey guys, what's up?" I was still a few feet away from them. Gray managed to jump 4 feet and land behind me perfectly.

"Protect them from me..." He whispered. The two girls were squealing and whispering about us becoming a couple. "They caught us and I don't know what people will do if they find out about us... Kissing..."

**(Gray's POV)**

Were Natsu and I officially a couple? I smiled at the thought as he made them calm down a little bit.

Once inside the guild, we had a few drinks and got the mission paper.

I was prepared since at least 4 in the morning, awaiting Natsu to burst in and tell me that the two girls in our group came back. When he never came, I decided that I would try going to the guild alone.

Master Macarov confronted me there, telling me how Mira saw my wrist. And that I should stay here rather than going on this mission.

I told him that I would be okay. However, only because of Natsu, and that I really liked him. I'd be lying if I said the Master wasn't surprised. He barely let me go, but promised that I'd show him my wrist when I got back.

**(Natsu's POV)**

"Here are your drinks, sir." The man on the train set them down on the table. Erza picked up her alcohol and took a quick sip.

"Thank you, sir." Lucy chirped.

Gray handed me a small glass of water, holding it up to my lips. "Here, this will make you feel a little better."

I thanked him and drank it slowly. Setting the soon empty glass back on the table.

Shifting slightly, I rest my head against Gray, a bucket in my lap just in case. He was shaking slightly which didn't help much. But his smell helped me to stay calm. It was soothing and when ever I could, I would nuzzle my nose deep into his collar.

Gray hadn't been away from my side for more than a few minutes since we left Magnolia 3 days ago. Yeah.

3 fucking days ago. We're still traveling.

I could feel Gray reach over and grab my hand, giving it a light squeeze. I felt so sick to my stomach that I didn't even realize we were there.

Gray carried me to the motel we were staying at. We had our own room while Erza and Lucy had they're own room. All alone. With Gray.

I smiled. "What are you smiling about? Don't you feel like shit?" Gray asked.

"Just thinking about how I get to spend this night... with you. Alone." I whispered the last part seductively.

He blushed a deep shade of red before pulling up the heavy blanket around me. "Why don't you work on getting better first, okay?"

Nodding quickly I smiled my normal large smile.

"Great. I'm going to go get shower and then go get us food. Okay?" He turned around and left before I could tell him not to go.

'_Fuck... I can't follow him..._' As I stood up to follow, I felt sick again. Sprinting to the bathroom, I barely made it to the toilet before letting out every out. When I pulled back i could only stare.

Blood. In was only blood.

"What the hell!?" I threw myself backwards. "This isn't from my motion sickness..."

**To Be Continued...**


End file.
